That… that wretched thing! Basking there in the limelight, with a sarcastic smirk on its face. How can you love a monster like that? Don’t you see the blood under its fingernails? It’s nothing but a shallow husk of a being, wrapped itself in my old lover’s skin. The fragrance of my sweet old lover can barely cover the stench of rot underneath.

It’s nothing but a monster, a hideous, bloodthirsty monster I tell you. Rid yourself of it, before it consumes you as it my old sweet love did.

Fallout 3 focuses too much in the combat, in Fallout 2 it was possible to run through the game with a stealthy approach, sneaking away and stealing, breaking into places, fighting no one, and it was also possible to be a diplomat that speaks to his enemies to dissuade them from attacking. Both of these character types could finish the whole game without a fight, by solving puzzles specific to their skills. In Fallout 3, because of the forced fights, such a character is not possible unless it uses the NPC’s.

The dialogue quality is worse, and the towns seem pretty empty, in Fallout 2, the towns were much more full of people and quests. A single town usually had 10+ side-quests, with different good/evil solutions, faction-specific solutions, or a choice of being combative, stealthy, or smooth talking.

Also, the use of Intelligence in dialogue is laughable, if you guys saw what Intelligence did in Fallout 2 dialogues… like showing a scientist how his method for manufacturing drugs is innefficient (Using real-life research and real-life technobabble, mind you), winning a supersmart radscorpion in chess, doing a “Hannibal Lecture” on a raider and demoralizing it, figuring out where does a character hide a stash just from his demeanor, and much more… compare that with “[Intelligence] So you fight the good fight, eh?”.

To be fair, none of these relationships have been serious. I’m saving myself for my soul mate to arrive on the scene. I have a feeling that come March, a certain little survival horror sequel an I will be spending a lot of time together…

I’m so fickle.

I recommend you find a less horrible rpg to fall in love with, particularly one without arbitrary action elements. Planescape Torment might not be the “coolest” boy at school but from what I understand he cares about you a lot.

Dr.Penguin – Thanks for posting! I still love the alien shagging part of your love letter, top notch matey!

BuckShotGeorge – Thanks for commenting here and on GTP, much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed the letter

Taz – Hey you! Thanks for replying! Everytime I see you online you’re playing away at Fallout 3. I’m jealous you’ve maxed out your achievements, I’ve still got quite a few left to get!

AND IT LOVES ME! MEEEEEEEEEE!

I’ve completed it four times now, each following a different path, unlocked all 50 achievements and STILL I am now wandering around the wasteland looking for unmarked quests and such.

I love this game so much. Hear me Elysium! The game loves ME! NOT YOU!!

hehehe.

Dear Mass Effect,

your took me in with your third point perspective despite my stick-in-the mud FPS ways and showed me a wider world, a world full of almost infinite detail that had been lovingly crafted and sculpted around the story I wandered through. So much so that I didn’t feel like I was the only person but more than the whole universe around me and alive. I frankly felt like creating an RPG in your honour. You give me wonderful weapons to blow things up with and funky powers to hoist aliens into the air so I can shoot them like clay pigeons, you give me an excellent levelling system and fantastical planetoids where the sky rains fire plus weird and wonderful aliens to shag. I felt like Kirk in powerarmour.

Thank you mass effect, you gave me a whole universe to blast.

~Dr.P

[spelling is terrible, sorry]

The cheapest it’s going for at the moment is £30 though

Wait, I do know, it’s the lack of having any money at all!