I’ll be giving away the following.

• 400 Microsoft points (x2)
• 100 Microsoft points (x2)

The winners will be randomly picked.  You will receive your redeemable code via email. To win, you’ll need to do the follow:

1. Press the Tweet button on your left.

You have until Sunday,  11/11/12 – 12am CST.

Later tater!

Thanks to everyone that retweeted and hit like! The winners will be contacted with the code.

Stay tuned for another weekend of codes!

I’m not defending males for their actions. Even though 42% of gamers are females, obviously they’d NEVER make such hurtful comments.

A lifetime ban for a comment is way too drastic.  The last thing we need is knowing that our conversations on xbox are going to be monitored for the slight chance of someone telling me to go in the kitchen to make a sammich or being called a bitch. Thanks Kiki Wolfkill and Bonnie Ross for your feminazi measures but I’m an adult and can protect myself. If these other women cannot stand their own, they could easily unplug their headset or better yet, mute the person. If they are under 17, they shouldn’t be playing without parental supervision to begin with.

I know there are a lot of women in support of these two. From the look of it, most females that have blogged about this are supporting them.

“Most people look at a franchise like Halo, and automatically assume it’s run by a guy,” Ross said. ”People are surprised to learn that it’s a woman who’s running the Halo 4 show. When Microsoft created 343 Industries to take over Halo, I was given first choice to run the studio because I had proven myself. My gender played no part in it.”

For two women that are so adamant to fight sexism, doesn’t that make them equally sexist for targeting males? If Bonnie Ross teamed up with a male to show that she sees both genders as equal, and both need protecting against such bad behaviour, I wouldn’t feel so inclined to be against them.

It’s good to know that gender didn’t play a part as to why she got her position, this doesn’t mean it isn’t playing a part in her trying to enforce such extreme measures.

On the flip side, does this also mean (even though chicks never do this, seriously!) I cannot tell a guy to go to the garage and check the oil in the car? Major bummer.

Source:
http://uk.gamespot.com/news/halo-4-devs-speak-out-against-sexism-6399205

Lately though, it seems like it’s a different player, with his mouth wide open. This is not an innuendo. Or maybe it. Soccer/football being a non contact sport for the most part, little is left for them to do apart from pout, by the look of it. At least back in the day they showed the actual sport on the cover and not just a bunch of grown men having a poutfest.

I haven’t really seen it this bad with many other sport games.

EA. Refuse these design covers. On this side of the pond, soccer players are already dubbed as being a wuss, you’re adding salt to the wound.

I know. I know it’s not exactly something to brag about, but I’ve long ago given up even pretending I run with the fast and cool set. I love art. I love all kinds of art, and I’m the kind of person that believes anything can be art. Even people. Even video games. Most especially, I love what art can accomplish. It’s a communication of sorts, between the artist and the audience, and the myriad of things any particular piece can say is as varied as you and I.So I’d like to take a moment to introduce you to some little pieces of art in the gaming world, games that push the envelope of what it really means to experience a new world, a new identity, and to use what you learn there to re-think even your own world and your own identity (One of the most important aspects of art, I believe). Of course, this is only the tip of the iceberg of what is out there in the world of what are commonly referred to as “experimental” games. Often simple to play, but not for the simple-minded, they always offer something deeper, for the curious and for those willing to dig a little more into what any one experience can offer. All of these games, except for one, were finalists in the 2010 Independent Games Festival, the organization that brought to the gaming world’s attention such gems as World of Goo, Castle Crashers, and Braid. The games I’ve chosen to showcase appeal to me because of their special intersections with artistic mediums and functions, and if they catch your fancy, have a look at the other finalists and winners at their website.

TODAY I DIE

I’ll begin with one of my absolute favorites, the playable poetry of Today I Die. This flash game, created by the talented Daniel Benmergui, presents you with what seems like a suicide note. Through manipulating items in the environment and words in the poem, you can change the poem (and the gameworld itself) in surprising and meaningful ways. Described on the IGF site as “A game poem about the prison of worldviews, and salvation in playfulness,” this game rewards curiosity and those willing to explore the possibilities that the poem presents. You can try the game out for yourself here.

LIMBO

Winning in the categories of “Technical Excellence” and “Excellence in Visual Art” is Limbo, by PlayDead, described very simply as “Uncertain of his sister’s destiny, a boy enters LIMBO…” The perfect combination of a technically proficient gameworld and compelling artistic representation, the screenshots depict a dark landscape that is lonely and oppressive, as one would expect in such a place, yet poignant enough to make you want to explore it. Watching the teaser video I was instantly reminded of one of my favorite illustrators, Edward Gorey, who always managed to be dark and macabre and yet humorous and humanly touching.

Selections from the Gashlycrumb Tinnies by Edward Gorey

You can check out the Limbo Video Teaser here. I am especially intrigued at the prospect of solving puzzles and exploring the world in the changing environments and rotating rooms that are depicted.

CLOSURE

Finalists at the IGF are notorious for presenting games that offer novel experiences, or challenge the expectations that previous games set up. Closure is a game that challenges our perceptions of what is in dark spaces and how we use the dark. No longer something to avoid, in case the Kryll or ravenous zombies swoop out to devour you, the dark represents a void to be manipulated. The dark is not just a hidden continuation of things you cannot see, but rather within the darkness, nothing exists at all. What is dark is therefore passable, and figuring out how to manipulate this concept (starting with orbs of light you carry) is how you puzzle your way through each level. Instead of ruining the fun by over-explaining it (like a horrible joke gone wrong), I invite you to give it a try yourself. Part of the enjoyment in this game, much like in Today I Die, is found in the exploration of the world and its mechanics, and the process of learning by failure and retrying becomes an experience in itself. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that the sound effects are very well done (the game won “Excellence in Audio”).

Finally, you can’t have art without political or social commentary. Italiani Brava Gente, created by the artist Antonio Riello, is actually not so much a game as a social commentary using the medium of games. For Riello, his gameworld is a place where “forbidden…obsessions are hidden,” and the hidden agenda for this particular piece is what Riello sees as growing xenophobia and intolerance in Italy (as reflected in the image of the menu screen below).

ITALIANI BRAVE GENTE

Although this last example is not part of the IGF like the others (it’s actually more a piece of art than a game), I include it because it is an insightful and slightly humorous example of the intersection of art and games. It is a video game more strictly as a piece of art.

And you just don’t get much more artsy-fartsy than that.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Note: This article was first published on the Frag Doll Website as part of their Cadette program. Big thanks to Miss Risky for first introducing me to Today I Die and getting me interested in following and learning about experimental type games! You can read her more thorough review on that particular game right here!

Here’s a tribute to achievements that push the envelope, and usually require you to do something outside of the normal parameters of the game’s intended gameplay. Special props go to Valve, I could have written an entire article about their clever titles and word-play, but I tried to spread the love around a bit. WARNING: some spoilers follow.

9 Irony – Bioshock 2: In the first game, there was an achievement called “Irony,” which required the player to snap a photo of the recently deceased Sanders Cohen (who spent a whole level forcing you to kill people and take a picture of them for his masterpiece). 9 Irony adds a clever word pun to the mix, and requires you to throw a golf club at a statue of Andrew Ryan (who famously forced you to kill him with the same weapon in the first game). Easy to get, it’s only worth five points, but for me most of the cleverness lies in the title.

My Brother is an Italian Plumber – Borderlands: Super Mario references may be cliché, but I still had fun trying to jump on Skag heads to get my “plumber-style” kill.

Big Bully – A Kingdom for Keflings: Now I would never condone acting like a bully in real life, but kicking helpless Keflings across the map with your avatar was obsessively funny. And by obsessive, I mean that I kept doing it even after I got an achievement for it.

Flushed – Half Life 2: Gravity Guns are cool, and result in numerous ways of eliminating your foes. Conking one with a hurled toilet is near the top of my list (right next to shooting teddy bears at Super Mutants in Fallout 3).

The Fowl Player – Fable 2: You get an achievement in this game for kicking a chicken (Don’t worry, they have reinforced feathers), but the game ups the ante by giving you another achievement for kicking one while wearing a chicken suit. “We’re sickened.”

True Identity – Rainbow Six Vegas 2: One of the cool features about this shooter is that you can upload a photo with your Vision cam to create a character that looks like you. Cooler thing is you get an achievement for doing so. Coolest thing is putting on a face mask before you take your pic, and then freaking out everyone online with your creepy looking character.

Psychotic Prankster – Fallout 3: In any game with moral choices, I always tend to play the nice paragon. This explains why I reloaded my save after pick-pocketing a stranger and leaving, in return, a live grenade in their pants. And so I don’t seem like a complete prude, I did laugh at them randomly exploding before I reloaded.

Cr0wnd – Left 4 Dead: This one wasn’t as much fun to get as it was fun to watch your other friends try to get. Hearing them run away screaming after their headshot attempt fails never got old. Especially after you just explained to them that getting as close as possible first is the best strategy. Also of note, Cl0wnd in Left 4 Dead 2 requires you to honk clown noses.

…Where Credit is due – Eat Lead: 60 points just for watching the credits, one of the easiest achievements I’ve ever gotten. Eat Lead also wins points for the funny descriptions for almost all of the achievements (for example, Pure Energy: Get 50 Energy Pistol kills. “Blaster? I hardly know ‘er!”)

Crowd Pleaser – LEGO Star Wars: TCS: Call me petty for taking out my movie annoyance grudge on a poor, defenseless video game character made of virtual Legos, but breaking Jar Jar 20 times sure felt satisfying.

Guardin’ Gnome – Left 4 Dead 2 and Little Rocket Man – Half Life 2: Episode 2: As far as fun and silly achievements go, these two up the difficulty level by requiring you to carry a garden gnome across an entire campaign. It’s not too bad in L4D2 if you have buddies, just be careful on the roller coaster so your little friend doesn’t go flying away. For HL2, most of the time you could set him down somewhere while you did what you had to do, but the driving sequences were tough. That little bugger did not want to stay in my buggy. Frustrating moments aside, getting these achievements did provide some laughs and humorous moments.

Did I leave any of your favorites out? Lemmie know, I only included achievements I got myself!

Bioshock 2: There are different ammo types for each weapon, and the Power to the People stations allow you to upgrade your weapon, adding capacity, increasing damage, and the like. But the funnest options were Heated Rivets (giving each rivet a change to set enemies on fire), and Electrified Shells (giving each shotgun shell the change to electrocute your enemy). Now you might say, “But Dope, you already have these effects in the Plasmids you get to use while exploring the underwater city of Rapture, isn’t it a bit superfluous to have your guns have these effects too?” NO. Heck, no. The fact that I can stack these effects with the glories of Cyclone traps, telekinesis, and hypnosis just makes everything that much more devastating. In the case of Bioshock, more definitely means better.

Mass Effect 2: I really don’t want to get caught up in a genre argument regarding what type of game Mass Effect is and what it isn’t. That said, I play it more like a shooter, that’s just my style. What can I say, I’m a girl and I always over-pack, and when it comes to packing heat, I like to play with all the guns. Playing as a Soldier in Mass Effect 2 provided some wonderful options not present in the first game, most especially the various ammo types. Call me cliche, but incendiary and cyro ammo were my BFFs; their effects were both, well…effective and fun to use! Shattering frozen enemies never gets old, but what does get old are the constant and overdone screams of my foes on fire. Can’t my enemies just suffer their deaths a little more gracefully while I’m having so much fun?

Borderlands: Elemental Effects. Two simple words, yet so many wonderful flavors of destruction. Whether you like melting your enemies with poison, blistering their skin with fire, exploding their very flesh off their bones, or zapping their armor to their bodies with electricity, Borderlands has the gun for you. Or a hundred. Er, a few thousand. Okay, there’s a lot of guns. But I played a Siren, she favored the SMG and was built to use it. Add an overpowered Hellfire SMG to that mix, and oh the fun I had tearing through enemies like butter. Call me a pyro, but playing with fire in this game was funner than running around campfires with marshmallow torches when I was a kid.

Okay, so I just did that last year, sue me.

An aspect that is sometimes overlooked which I love is the learning factor about games. In that, I’m referring to the games that are based on historical events, even if it’s based on them loosely. When I was younger, I grasped the the entire event in a video game more than I do these days. Today it is more about the graphics for me and the mechanics of a game but ever so often, I will get sucked into a game and learn more about our past that I wasn’t taught while in school, or never bothered to further educate myself about it.

A game I recently played was Battlestations: Pacific. It was a huge milestone for me to invest so many hours into a game, only to walk away each time and realize I still don’t have a single achievement (I can’t help being such an achievement whore), but learning even slightly more about our history should be something we’re encouraged to do. For those that aren’t familiar with Battlestations series, the year is set between 1941-1945. The attacks are about Pearl Harbor and Battle of Okinawa (aka Operation Iceberg). You do have a chance to play as the Japanese and create the “what if” scenareo, though I never was interested in that aspect of the game so I have no opinion on that matter.

That being said, there are so may games out there that can teach us a lot about history or help us use our imagination and create a “what if” scenario, such as Company of Heroes, Age of Empires Series, Brothers in Arms: Road to Hill 30 and Total War Series, which is only naming a few. In all obviousness, parents shouldn’t succumb to slanted opinions about how video games aren’t suitable for children since a few of the games I’ve mentioned above are turn based strategy games.

At first glance, it’s a rather depressing scene, marked by an equally depressing poem. But much like the real world, Benmergui’s little ocean in Today I Die is changeable, and capable of finding beauty.

The game’s biggest strength is its simplistic design and curiosity-provoking interface. There isn’t too much going on at any given moment, but that’s a good thing, because you can play around with what’s in front of you, and learn how the funny little world works.

Today I Die also wins points for being beautiful, in that artsy, abstract sort of way. The game art is so simple that it’s undistracting (and, let’s be honest, I have a weak spot for pixelated art), and the piano soundtrack is just plain lovely.

It’s worth multiple playthroughs just to see how the ending changes, and once you’ve got the hang of things, the game only takes a few minutes to complete. Without spoiling too much, I’ll say that both endings (that I’ve found, at least…is there a third?) are very satisfying, albeit in completely different ways. The story is very dreamlike and fanciful, and watching how it evolves is a treat — especially because it’s up to the player to determine the progression of the poem.

Seems pretty fabulous, right? It is, but there’s one major feature that poses a gigantic roadblock for players with limited patience: there aren’t any directions. If you’re curious by nature, that’s not a problem, but a design like this has the potential to be incredibly frustrating. Frankly, if I weren’t so stubborn, I might have closed the window without getting past the first iteration of the poem, and that would have been sad.

There are also some definite timesinks, perhaps intentionally placed, that do not contribute at all to the story’s progression. I spent quite a lot of time feeding jellyfish to the piranhas before I realized that they would just keep spawning, and that I was focused on the wrong thing.

I haven’t decided whether this is truly a negative point, but it’s something that sticks out to me: I have not yet figured out how to “lose” the game. Despite the title, it appears that the girl does not ever actually die, and that lovely piano soundtrack will just keep looping until one figures out how to complete the game or gives up in frustration.

Moral of the story: art is sometimes confusing, and the world doesn’t always come with directions, but despite all of this, it’s an interesting ride.

Play Today I Die here. At the moment, it’s hosted ad-free, thanks to a generous donor (unusual individual, as the site claims).

Champagne + snacks + Wii + DS sounds like a fabulous time for me, but many of the other ladies in attendance (1) weren’t familiar with the Nintendo brand and (2) weren’t interested in gaming. And some of them still weren’t at the end of the night.

Obviously, the disconnect between girls and gaming is something that marketing people have been studying for quite some time, but I wonder what’s so different between gamer girls and our non-gaming peers?

Let’s break things down into the fundamental reasons women might say they’re “just not that into” games. I snagged these basic categories from the marketing types at that event, although this list is by no means a complete profile of non-gamer girls. I’ll throw my initial responses in, but I’d love to see where this goes in the comments.

Don’t have time.
Gaming can be time-consuming. It’s extraordinarily easy to lose track of five or six hours while you level grind/build a franchise/work your way through a story. And who are we to tell anyone how to spend their time?

Okay, so maybe some of us spend more hours every week playing games than we do sleeping, but shopaholics spend tons of time in their favorite stores, and foodies devote many hours to tasty treats — people make time for things that are important to them.

It’s a given that gaming isn’t going to be a priority activity for everyone. But what about those minutes and hours when there’s nothing to do? Like train commutes, bus rides, long lines, waiting rooms? Perfect gaming opportunities. Handheld and mobile games are still real games, after all. Bonus: you can play video games on the train or in waiting rooms; you can’t shop or eat.

Aren’t familiar with gaming systems/games.
Shocking as it may be to those of us who grew up with a controller fused to our hands, there are plenty of women who do not have a clue what FPS and RPG stand for. They can’t tell the difference between a PSP and a DS (is that a portable DVD player?), and Halo is an accessory for angels.

Something drew us into gaming. I’m sure it was something different for all of us — maybe we grew up alongside the industry and had consoles during every generation, maybe we played pen and paper games and video games were a natural next step, maybe we had boyfriends who were really into World of Warcraft — but there was some thing that brought us into gaming culture, and there was a reason we stayed.

Guitar Hero, Wii Fit, and the like are definitely a great step towards bringing more women into the market. They truly invite participation in a way that many other console and PC games aren’t able to do. Casual games like Bejeweled and TextTwist are doing a great job of capturing women’s attention, even if they’re not as “hardcore” as most retail games. There’s still room for growth, but I think it’s key that women can find at least one game that resonates with them. After all, the girl who tries out Mario Kart might decide to check out Wii Sports. And after that? Maybe she’ll be picking up a copy of Madden.

Don’t think it’s fun.
Shooters, sports, and sci-fi/fantasy (and action/adventure, strategy, sim, etc.) really deliver on fun for hardcore gamers, but they’re not necessarily interesting or fun to girls who aren’t already into gaming. And besides that, there’s still a very present “nerd culture” that surrounds games.

Breaking the “fun” barrier is tough, because you really just can’t educate someone in regards to what they will or will not enjoy. It’s doubly difficult if they have preconceived ideas that something will not be fun. I think the solution here is similar to what I said above regarding casual games and music games. In order to dispel the “games are for nerds” idea, girls have to encounter a game that they enjoy. Maybe they have to play a game without realizing – per se – that they’re gaming, to break that stigma.

So, gamer girls: what are your thoughts on the disconnect? Non-gamer girls: is there something I’m missing, or do you have a different take on why you’re  just not that into games?

It will spoil the game a little if you watch it, so be warned! I’ve already noticed improvements with weapons along with new weapons I must get my hands on. It is the same great atmosphere we grew to love though.

One thing that is a little bothersome to me about the trailer was the voice of the big sister. Yes I realize she’s a few years older now but it sounds like they used voice rendering software to change the tone from male to female. I hope I’m not alone with that assumption.

Now don’t get me wrong; the excitement doesn’t always last. As an avid fan of Dark Angel I admit that the first three minutes of Xavier Gen’s Hitman had me out of my seat and on my way out to my car before the opening credits had even finished rolling. It took me a couple of tries over many years but at this point I have managed to sit through the entire movie. Once. I consider it a minor miracle. The same feeling can be turned towards movies like Max Payne and Resident Evil: Degeneration. While visually stimulating and semi-successful at the box office they were otherwise lacking in pizazz. Then there are movies that can only be described as pure, unadulterated, Fan Candy. I am talking about the greats of gaming/movie madness. Super Mario Brothers, Dead or Alive, Mortal Kombat, Wing Commander, these are movies that I can watch over and over again and infinitum until the day my brain melts and starts leaking out my ears.

Whether they were heart warming, rage inducing, or brain melting, in the past quarter of a century American Cinema has seen about 40 versions of game turned movie. That number includes a variety of things like game spin-offs, very loose adaptations, and straight up big screen copies. Some of them have been insane blockbusters (Tomb Raider, Resident Evil) some have been great fun but financially unsuccessful (In the Name of the King , Alone in the Dark) and most dwell in the misty grey world of fandom (BloodRayne). Now lets recap…40+ movies in 25+ years. So color me surprised when I discovered that there are at least 30 movies in the works to be released within the next few years. The rough math, for those of us who don’t like math, would be 30+ movies in 3+ years.

With these overwhelming numbers the question begs: Will it be too much?

With titles like BioShock, Resident Evil 4, God of War, and another Mortal Kombat (with Lambert!!!!!) as just a few of the movies soon to hit the Silver Screen do we even care? Given that movies based on games are rarely successful I find myself wondering why Hollywood thinks there is going to be a change in that trend. Do they know something we don’t? Have they kidnapped Theresa, every hero’s favorite sister, and forced her to rat out the blockbusters of the future? Maybe the executives finally got their hand’s on a decent 8-ball

All in all it looks as though we gamers are going to have a few good years of fan candy ahead of us. With so much looming over the horizon, the anticipation may just kill me.

- Prophet of Mercy

Ten years ago a relatively unknown game developer announced its next project, Halo, a real-time strategy game for the Apple Macintosh platform. Soon after this, the company was acquired by Microsoft and became part of the Microsoft Game Division under the name, Bungie Studios. 2001 saw the release of the Xbox and along with it the flagship game, Halo: Combat Evolved, one of history’s finest first-person action games which went on to be a critically acclaimed hit, earning its place in the FPS hall of fame and creating a truly fantastic franchise; one which we all know and love.

Now this is all well and good, but surely this wasn’t the RTS that Bungie had in mind when Halo was announced was it? That’s rights kids you’ve guessed it; Halo: Combat Evolved was not released as a RTS; instead it went through several iterations before finally arriving at the console first person shooter for which it is today recognised. Bungie felt that a RTS would be a waste of Halo’s intricate storyline and a FPS would be far more interactive for the player.

Okay, enough of the history lesson, fast forward to the present, the year is 2009, and expectations are high as we are about to embark on yet another euphoric journey into the Halo universe. This time in the originally intended format of an RTS, courtesy of the late Ensemble Studios, ladies and gentlemen I come tonight to bring you, Halo Wars.

Woah, woah hold on a second! ’A Halo game not developed by Bungie, I have a bad feeling about this.’ Indeed the concept is hard to grasp and although the boys at Bungie have helped Ensemble with getting a ‘general feel’ for the Halo Universe they have had very little significant involvement in the making of Halo Wars. During the long wait for the demo to download I began to grow sceptical, asking myself, ”Surely a lack of Bungie colouring will denote failure for a Halo game?” However after but a few minutes on Halo Wars all my doubts were quickly cast aside as I revelled in the greatness of the first true console RTS. Obviously Halo Wars is not the first RTS to be played on a console, as on the Xbox 36o alone we have had LOTR BFME II, C&C3 and Supreme Commander to name but a few. The only difference between these and Halo Wars is that the latter is as yet the only RTS to be developed solely for console gaming; all the others are formatted PC versions. Ensemble, best and only known for bringing us Age of Empires can be seen in my opinion as bit of a ‘One Trick Pony,’ however despite Ensemble’s over-experience on the PC, Halo Wars has shown me that this pony had a few more tricks up its sleeve.

I won’t bore you with the Halo storyline, but as far as game play goes this RTS is hard to fault and the graphics ain’t too bad either. Both the Covenant and the UNSC field full and diverse armies featuring all the familiar units from the trilogy and many more. From the Honour Guards of High Charity to the Marines of New Mombasa, the attention to detail and their overall resemblance to their original trilogy brothers is uncanny. The game features a UNSC Campaign and online multiplayer mode  fit for no less than 6 players at once, not to mention co-op capability in the campaign. Although there are only two playable factions, the choice of specific commander enables the player to utilize special abilities respective to their choice, so two Covenant armies could play off very different strengths. At first, I thought this abit lazy on Ensemble’s part, (especially the inability to play as the Flood) however the commander choice adds internal diversity never before seen by mine eyes.

To conclude, Halo Wars feels and plays right and is fairly balanced; obviously if you are neither a fan of Halo nor RTS then this game is clearly not for you. For everyone else this could be seen as a ‘must buy,’ but don’t take my word for it, instead download the demo and have a dabble. Halo Wars is actually released to the Britons on the 27th February, a furious four days before the American get it, HUZZAH! So from now untill then, enjoy the demo.

NinjaBee didn’t exactly make the game to end all games here, but it is good for a wee bit of fun (pun totally intended).

It’s an 800-point download on the XBOX Live Arcade. That means it’ll set you back 10 bucks — not too shabby.

Bonus throwback moment: it occurred to me that A Kingdom For Keflings is like a shiny new version of a game I played until the disc didn’t work anymore called Serf City: Life is Feudal. There’s just something very satisfying about lording over a village of wee, medieval-ish people who like to build stuff.

Remember that XBOX Live avatar you made when NXE debuted? You get to use it in this game, in Gulliver form. I’m a fan, because while I enjoy lording over my strategy-game minions as an unseen omnipotent force, it’s even cooler when it’s me lording over my minions. In a sundress and yellow heels.

Standard sim/civ protocol follows — collect resources, use resources to make buildings, get upgrades, lather, rinse, repeat. Oh yeah, and you can punt the Keflings.

Cutesy medieval strategy games have evolved since the days of Serf City, and the little Keflings are fairly advanced. Well, for minions, at least. Not only do they happily harvest wood, rocks, crystals, and wool, but they can be trained to transport it to the location of your choosing. In addition to gathering and transporting, the Keflings can be educated and trained to do a variety of jobs. One lucky dude gets to be the Mayor/Lord/King (appropriately enough, he gets the job before the school is built, so the Keflings’ representative leader is the least educated of the entire population).

Keflings themselves are the scarcest resource. Once you start to slot them into artisan jobs, you’ll notice that your supply of human capital is dwindling fast. In order to breed more peons, you need to find the elusive Love. How a propos.

Obviously, there are buildings. The game follows a pretty standard system of requiring certain basic structures before upgrades appear (I mean, really, would you invest that much time in a game where you could build the Big Important Castle at the beginning?). Resources are used to make these buildings, sometimes in simple raw form (logs, rocks, crystals, wool), and later in advanced (wood planks, cut stone, magic gems, cloth) and civilized (carved wood, brick, magic dust, silk) forms.

There’s a blueprint to unlock for every building in the game. Each building is comprised of several components, which may or may not be made in the same workshop (hint: keep your workshops easily accessible), and isn’t finished until all of the pieces are laid out according to the blueprint. Fair enough.

Whew! So there’s a lot going on for a simple, cartoony XLA game. Let’s break it down:

Obviously, I’m a fan of the integration of the XBOX Live avatar. The devs figured out how to make use of that thing without it being too cheesy. Plus, it’s kinda cute that the avatar is a giant.

The blueprint building system adds a second process beyond just gathering the right number of resources and clicking “go.” I like this, it keeps me interested and makes me pay attention instead of just mindlessly clicking. This is probably 75% of the reason I got sucked into the game.

Bonus for the architecturally-challenged: once you’ve laid down the first building tile, a little blue box shows up to tell you where the next piece goes.

Plus, there’s a little something for the world-creation geeks: the game actually encourages you to be creative with construction. Once you’ve played it once-through to unlock all of the blueprints (or given up before that, whatever), have a little fun with your kingdom layout. I’m a little bit in love with the game devs for suggesting things like making a maze for the Keflings or a football field.

The Keflings aren’t rocket scientists, they’re just minions, so if you don’t choose a location for resource drop-off or allocate the Keflings to new jobs, they’ll pull a Sorcerer’s Apprentice on you and just. keep. going. Check back later, and you’ll notice a pile of 300+ crystals in the middle of a field…great.

I haven’t run into any situations where I depleted any of the resources yet, but that’s just wasteful. I totally get that part of the strategy is to effectively manage the human (Kefling) capital, but I would love the ability to set limits on how much each Kefling mines.

Multiplayer gameplay is…kind of blah. There aren’t many built-in features to make this mode easier, and there just aren’t many multiplayer-specific features in general. One thing I was totally wishing for was a set of already-unlocked blueprints –  is it really necessary to rebuild an entire kingdom from scratch during a casual game? It’s also super easy for malicious players to enter games, vandalize a bunch of buildings, and disappear.

Not-so-bonus for the spatially-challenged: if you put important buildings (like workshops) in awkward places (like right near a sheep farm), you will have a world of trouble getting things done. In some games, city planning is not such a big deal, but in this one, it really is. Fortunately, you can demolish and relocate badly-placed structures, but it’s a terrible habit to get into.

Moral of the (admittedly, way long) story: It’s a light, cutesy game that still satisfies as a civilization/sim game. Absolutely worth the 10 bucks, and without a doubt my favorite of the XBOX Live Arcade offerings. And did I mention that you get an achievement for punting the Keflings?

In The Maw, you play as an alien character named Frank. Frank has a pet named The Maw which can attach to a plasma leash when Frank wants to control him. The Maw basically eats anything and everything in it’s way. As this little gluttonous blob continues eating, it grows in size. He does have numerous options to pertain some abilities from the animals or items he consumes.

The gameplay and cut-scenes are all in 3D. It was nice to be able to explore each stage in an innovative new way after the Maw evolves with some new trait.  The colour scheme was vibrant. Your tasks are straight forward and simple. You never die in the game, similar to the Lego games. The transformation reminded me a lot of Kameo.

If you haven’t checked it out yet, I strongly suggest you at least try the demo. It’s probably one of the best XLA games I’ve played in a long time. Make sure you let The Maw burn his mouth in the first stage and leave your controller idle for a few moments so he can give you evils.

The huge, and I mean HUGE downfall of this game is that the game is extremely short. I managed to finish it after playing for about 4 hours. When it was all over, I wanted MORE!!! I wasn’t bothered that it was a single player game, due to the length. On the plus side, we’ll soon have some new DLC that will cost 100 MS points per level.

So while we await for awesome (hopefully) titles (possibly in production) of games to be released in 2009 (please give us firm release dates), I thought, what games would I like to see made? I’m not talking Ghostbusters or CoD5: Modern Warfare 2. I’m talking about games that ended and we want to see more of. Some are/were PC and some are consoles, but I miss them and I want them back.

My list in no particular order:

Alice by American McGee. What can I say? This game is beyond awesomesauceness. I loved every weird scary freaky bit of it. It took my favorite movie ever and made it grown up in a way I could appreciate, but still kept the classic parts.

Kingdom Hearts. Going with my fantasy the

me, Kingdom Hearts is just an amazing game. Well, games as there are 2, but I’ll talk as they’re one. The bringing of all the Disney characters and the Final Fantasy characters was sheer genius. Plus, we got to do what we always wanted to to (admit it.) We got to fight classic bad guys with classic good guys in amazing worlds.

God of War. Yes, I know they made a PSP version, but killing mythic monsters with a god half an inch tall isn’t as much fun. The fact you get to travel back to when gods were real and mythical beasts had a bazillion ways of killing you kept me interested for hours.

Heavenly Sword. As of yet, there is no sequel (or prequel) in the making. But this game, and this game alone, is the reason I bought a PS3. The graphics are amazing and the story is heart wrenching. There are scenes in there that could be in movies. Movies I would watch over and over and over again.

Escape from Monkey Island. Before games were all push this button or push that button and run over here, there was Escape from Monkey Island. It’s still fun to pick up even now.

Marvel v. Capcom. Probably one of the best fighting games of all time. Nothing like beating the Hulk down with Spiderman. The controls were well balanced and it was just a lot of fun to play.

So, that’s my list. What’s yours?

I honestly do not know where to start with this letter. We have known each other for such a short time,  but it has felt like you have been a part of me for so much longer. You have shown me so many things in the last few months, things I had never thought possible and I am so very grateful to have you in my life. For once, I am finally able to be myself around someone and for that I can never thank you enough. Who else could I run around all day with killing Molerats with a plank of wood without being mocked? Even when I bludgeon helpless Wastelanders to death, you are there my love, watching their heads roll alongside me. We were meant to be Fallout 3!

In the 99 days that we have been together, we have been through so much. I cannot begin to describe the fear I felt when that Behemoth suddenly decided it wanted to tear us apart (literally), but you pulled out your Chinese Assault Rifle and you sure did own that son of a bitch! I jumped with joy when that beast fell to the ground as dead as my sex life will be once my partner realises how much of a nerd I am.

Do you remember that time we blew Megaton to smithereens? Oh how we laughed! And that young lady who kept flirting with you and asking you to help her with her silly little “research”? Well, I’m glad she isn’t much of a challenge for me now.

Oh Fallout 3, what ever would I do with out you? The many hours we have shared, stealing bottles of Nuka Cola, out running Deathclaws and trying to work out how to maim those little brats who insist in calling us “mungos”. I truly cannot remember what my days were spent doing before you burst onto the scene in a blaze of 1940s classics.

And how you have made everything so much more easier for me! Never in my 20yrs on this earth would I ever think of saying that all my problems could be solved with one simply system – V.A.T.S. What you have brought into my life is a button press away from pure bliss. I feel like the luckiest lady in the world Fallout 3, and my eyes twinkle with delight when I see your face getting covered in blood, eye balls and splinters of bone.

My life now holds new meaning with you in it and my heart leaps in my chest every time you whip your Pipboy out for me to play with. I know we had problems at first when I found it difficult to navigate properly, but you were very patient with me and slowly I grew to learn how to handle your Pipboy correctly and it only made our bond stronger!

I will hold you close to my heart Fallout 3, even when your DLC comes to me on the 27th of this month and we end our time together before your successor sweeps me from my feet. Your achievement points will be the sign of our perfect time together, I will never forget how you have changed my life.

All my love,
Elysium

This isn’t a list of the World-Wide Unfinishables, because we all have different skills and talents. I know people who can get a headshot while eating a sandwich, I know others who can create amazing characters who seriously kick-bum. This Top 5 is my personal Top 5 – They are games I have spent hours with, pulling my hair out, screaming at the TV and (eventually) throwing to the back of my cupboard.

# 5 – The Godfather

I’m a HUGE Godfather fan. I have seen the movies more times than I’ve eaten Yorkshire Puddings (that would be a lot for people who aren’t aware of us Brits ‘n our Yorkie obsession!). When a game was released for the 360 I pounced on it and set about conquering businesses, blowing up drug dens and generally working my way to Don status. However, there is this one section of the game where you need to storm a room full of men with shotguns. Now these weapons aren’t unbalanced, but take a few hits to the head and you’re done for. I cannot seem to get past that section no matter what I do! There are four men as I enter the room packing heat. I manage to take the first two out, but by that time my health has been drained from four multiple rounds from four shotguns being pumped into my body. I have tried different combinations of weapons, I’ve tried storming the room spraying, I’ve tried to lead each guy out of the  room one-by-one to pick off individually, but no matter what weapon or tactic I try to use, I fail. That level, for me, makes The Godfather Unfinishable and has caused me to put that game aside until I feel strong enough to take on the shotgun bandits once again!

# 4 – Final Fantasy VII
Hi, my name is Elysium and I think Final Fantasy VII is Unfinishable.

Don’t laugh.

Stop it.

…Please?

I just cannot finish this damn game! It’s the final boss battle, really, it is! I have struggled with it so damn much and I’ve just gotten so tired of levelling up that I’ve thrown in the towel. I know the ending of the story through reading it online, I just.. I can’t do it anymore guys! I have spent so many hours of my life on this game and I am genuinely disappointed with myself for being unable to complete one of the most completable games out there! It’s a Final Fantasy game, it’s not rocket science!

# 3 – Overlord

In 3rd place is Overlord. I don’t want to bad mouth this game because I love it’s little cute quirks! The minions are downright adorable when they scream “For the Overlord!” and they smash up pumpkins to wear on their heads! I also love the overall uniqueness of the game. The only downside is I get lost very very easily in this game and if I return to it after a few weeks of not playing it, I have absolutely NO clue of what I am meant to be doing or where I am meant to be going. It’s because of this that I’ve placed this game near the bottom of my pile – I’m not done with it just yet, but I’ve owned it for well over a year and a half now and I’ve not picked it up in at least a year.

Overlord, you’re Unfinishable to me. We will change this one day my love, but you must be patient with this poor little impatient, forgetful gamer.

# 2 – Eternal Sonata

When I first started playing this game I was quite smitten with it – I loved the use of music within the game and thought the voice acting was really good. The gameplay wasn’t bad and although the battle system wasn’t anything to write home about, I found myself enjoying the game. However, and that’s a BIG “however” – The puzzles in this game are stupid. I’m not saying that because I spent a few hours trying to solve one, but because I have seen bunch of people also struggling with the puzzles. Now, it’s not the fact that the puzzles themselves are difficult, they’re not, they’re quite simple, but it’s because there are ZERO hints saying that a) you’re in the middle of a puzzle and b) what the hell you’re even meant to be doing. It’s is absolutely ridiculous!

My second bug about this game is the boss battles. I am currently stuck quite early on in the game on a Pirate ship. Yup, I can’t defeat the skinny little Pirate Wench. She just wipes my team out in one go. Unfortunately I don’t have enough healing potions, nor are my healers strong enough to do multiple heals. It’s such a pain in the arse and after 15 attempts at the battle, I’ve given up. Unbalanced Pirate Wenches make the beautifully crafted Eternal Sonata Unfinishable to me.

#1 – Ninety-Nine Nights

The Most Unfinishable of the Unfinishables is Ninety-Nine Nights – The most annoying hack-and-slash game of 2006! This game involves moving through maps tearing away are hundreds, if not thousands, of enemies (ala Dynasty Warriors). The only problem with Ninety-Nine Nights is the majority of maps require you to sit and work at it for at least 45 minutes plus….. with no mid-map saves. That’s right, so if you get right to the final huge battle of Map 1, you will be royally fucked (and royally pissed off) if you die because you then have to re-do the WHOLE BLOODY MAP FROM THE BEGINNING! There are no words in existence to describe just how much I want to hurt someone for creating a game like that without save points. I managed to finally pass the first map, only to be thrown into a BIGGER map that requires more hours of my life AND STILL NO SAVE POINTS!

I don’t think I need to continue describing why Ninety-Nine Nights is at the top of my list. It is just one of those games I truly despise and yet I find myself coming back to it every so often to see if I could muster enough skill to finally make it Finishable.
The Conclusion!

I would like to think that all of the above games are ones I will eventually be able to complete, but I really doubt that I’ll have the patience to really give any of them another go. So, because I don’t want to look like the only gamer here who is unable to complete games - What are your Unfinishables?

STD’s in Fallout 3? I spent a heck of a lot of hours in this game, never came across this. Also, it is pointed out that you can wear a nightgown, one that, by the way, covers more of a girl than most sundresses or tank/shorts combos I see girls wearing just about every day in public.

Homosexual themes in Army of Two? Come on, this is certainly never overtly suggested, though anyone can “read” this kind of theme in just about anything, if they are paranoid and homophobic enough. That reminds me, they have homosexuality as a separate category from sexual references, which seems a bit overkill (I’d bring up homophobic as well, but that was already mentioned).

Sex used as a weapon in Crackdown? This just made me giggle. WHERE do they come up with this stuff? Will they never realize hyperbole gets them nowhere?

Name calling guys a “girl” in Bully? I’m sorry but kids have been doing this one since before video games were even invented.

Age of Conan is addictive? Bwahahahaha! Ahem *cough* sorry.

Mass Effect and Gears of War 2 are apparently FPS? I hate to be picky, but if THEY are going to be so ridiculous in their attempts to find each and every small point that might be even a teeny bit offensive to Christian extremists, then they should at least make an attempt to label the games right.

Hellgate: London features the word “hell.” OMG no way?!? These guys are really on the ball here!

I post (and lurk) on a variety of forums aimed at gamers who happen to also lack a tackle. I see a topic that appears quite often and I know a lot of you will have come across these posts also.  They seem to be related to how men only EVER seem to chat to girls gamers online because they’re after one thing – Nudes, n00ds, sexyfuntimechats or nudz.

I’ve seen a few posts elsewhere recently where a couple of male gamers were looking for women to game with. Now one of these posts seemed like the typical ~pervy~ guy looking to chat women up, but the other ones seemed like genuine requests. All three of these posts were flamed and/or locked. I understand why a lot of people get annoyed at men looking for women to game with. However, when I first started seriously gaming I would post threads saying “Looking for guy gamers to play with!” – NOT because I was some sad, lonely girl looking for attention, but because I truly hated the initial selection of female gamers there were out there. Nothing but cat-fights, back-stabbing and attention seekers. So I would specifically seek out male gamers. I also get along better with men, have more things to talk about with them so it seemed only normal for me to post about finding men to game with online! …But when a man wants to chat to a woman online, perhaps because he finds talking to women more fun than talking to a guy, while doing something they enjoy together (i.e; gaming), all hell breaks loose and that guy is officially branded a pathetic pervert. I have some male friends who come to me when they want to talk about their personal life, because they feel as though their male friends would laugh at them. I have some guys talk to me because I don’t just chat about cars and the latest FHM magazine.. And it goes in reverse as well, I seek out my male friends when I want to geek out about the latest Battlestar Galactica episode, or I hunt someone down because I’m sick of hearing about babies, shoes and handbags (alright, so I’m guilty of generalising on both genders here, but you all know what I’m getting at).

Now I realise that yes, there are a bunch of horny little boys out there jerking off to the thought of a hawt chick sitting behind their keyboard/controller. I too have been sent pictures of an erect dick via XBL, but unlike a lot of women, I laugh it off. I know that there are ladies out there who aren’t able to just shrug off things like that, but it is a very big shame that those women feel the need to attack any man out there who is actively looking to game with a woman. These are the same women who will spend their days whining at guys who think all girl gamers should be in the kitchen, while they sit there and do exactly the same. Branding a male gamer a pervert is the same as female gamers being branded attention whores who are ready to get to their tits out at any given moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not sitting here and telling women to forget about the behaviour they may have received from a small percentage of all male gamers, what I am asking is if it’s right to tar every male gamer with the same brush?

There’s definitely a reason this game won the 2008 IGF Grand Prize. It’s innovative, easy to play, and fun. I mean, come on…it’s crayons!

I’ve been playing non-stop since I downloaded the demo. Usually, I’m well enough satisfied with the demo levels, but this game absolutely warranted a full download.

It’s cute. There’s just something about paper and crayons that’s positively smile-inducing. I like sniping enemies and sacking quarterbacks just as much as anyone, but I found the childlike simplicity of this game to be charming.

Crayon Physics Deluxe is damn clever, too. Don’t be fooled by the crayons — the whimsical little levels actually make you think. Every line and shape scribbled into the game follows the laws of physics. Draw a ramp, and the ball will roll down it. If your ramp is too short, it will fall into an abyss. Draw a pendulum and it will swing. If it’s not balanced well, it’ll swing in a funky way. Draw a box, and it will drop. If you drop it onto a lever, it’ll catapult something into the air (if it’s big enough, that is).

The folks at Kloonigames also included my favorite feature ever: a custom level editor. You can bet your face that I’ll be making all of the Rube Goldberg machines I’ve ever dreamed up…in crayon.

Go to their website (http://www.crayonphysics.com/) to download a demo…or the full game!